This past weekend brought the privilege of attending two back to back women's events of a contemplative and reflective nature; one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The afternoon event, actually, was a whole day event and so since I was going to miss the morning time of reflection I asked for the questions ahead of time so I would be in the groove of the day when I got there.
The focus was on the story of Jesus being asleep in the boat in the storm with the disciples while they panicked about the whole situation.
"Where are you? Where is Jesus" was the approximate question. As is possible on a quiet Friday afternoon with no one around and the sun pouring in, I was able to slip into my inner experience and whoa...there I was...outside the boat, tossed around in waves, treading water trying not to gulp too much salt water.
Wow... revelation! Epiphany! Called up short and wanting!
So I spent some time hauling myself back in the boat and when Jesus woke up I told him I really didn't want to be in this particular boat, I wanted to be in another place. Honesty brings release and freedom, always.
Of course I have a few more conversations ahead of me before I figure out what to do about being in this boat, but it's lovely to confess I don't like where I'm being called, my 'now' place. Because the first step of being present in letting go of looking somewhere else.
Maybe for you too?
Love,
Deborah
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