But the month of October will go down as one filled with the drama of moving, again, and personal injury that until twenty minutes ago when I found myself walking to my offer carrying a full plate of dinner for myself, without my walker. I had just trotted away from it without even thinking about it.
Earlier this morning I had written to someone that there was the distinct possibility that when I fell over a pile of wood at a local grocery store, I may have re-traumatized my childhood injuries that have rendered me disabled to such a degree that I would never be able to walk independently again.
When I got up from the fall I was unable to lift my right leg.
Only the day before I had determined my steps to travel more unswervingly in the direction in which I believed God to be calling me. Then, in an early morning errand ....splat! Full side plant and ten hours in the ER. No stroke, no fractures. Those were the doctors concerns. My concern was the previous injuries to my L4-5 discs in my spine.
So whadyathink? Why do bad things happen? Let's put it another way. Why do good things happen? What is the meaning and relevancy of blessings and cursings in today's experience. How do we stay connected to God during all circumstances, all situations?
This is how I did it. First I went numb inside myself. Shocky. Then I went into my brain and had friends pray for me in ways I couldn't pray for myself. Then I concentrated on the facts and details at hand. Then I hurt, cried out to God in protest, searching, told Satan to take a hike, and quantified my assessment of healing, filled my brain with inspirational and distracting stuff, and comedic stuff: 'One Thousand Gifts', a travelogue of Scotland, and 'Dropped Dead Diva', 'The Vicar of Dibley' and 'Connie and Carla'.
After those first few days, I followed my body and did what it told me to. As for God, I did self examination, and then looked for good to come from bad.
Today there was another moment when it seemed that forward motion was going to be impeded. Then , as suddenly as the obstacle appeared, it disappeared. Before me were circumstances that gave me new insight into the promise of my life's work and adventures. Voila!
It's a biggy, this issue of God and situations, circumstances, activities, events. ...Where do you stand? What's your belief system?
Love,
Deborah
It's a biggy, this issue of God and situations, circumstances, activities, events. ...Where do you stand? What's your belief system?
Love,
Deborah
No comments:
Post a Comment