What does ordination feel like?

I've just been working on a piece of writing that is about a decade old. It prompted me to think on this: What did your ordination physically feel like? What does it feel like to pledge yourself to serve God in counter culture ways? You did pledge to do that didn't you? Did it feel like you were dedicating yourself to be opposite pop culture? Or did it feel powerful in a self actualization kind of way? Is the sensation of being thought of as God's ambassador a good feeling physically?  Research says there are a heck of a lot of ordained people -- I would imagine in all faiths-- who are very depressed. That's supposedly a pretty out of body experience.

Are you a sin eater? A savior? The good time person who bespeaks peace in words and action? What does it feel like physically to carry those roles?  Are you an advocate for God's intellect? Or are you a chicken fryer who fixes the furnace when it's broken? What does the role you take on physically feel like?

We understand the incarnate God when we stay present in our bodies while we serve. I've got to confess that frequently that was the hardest part for me when I was a new pastor.

Full disclosure... right now I'm trying to lose a whole lot of weight I gained while I wasn't paying attention. I keep asking myself how my relationship with the Triune God will change when I am skinny. It's an important question for me. And yet I find that every time I ask it, I panic. I don't have any definitive, conclusive observation right now. I just wanted to bring it up. So.. tell me ... what's your experience been ?
Love,
Deborah