I had an opportunity to buy a house under special arrangements. Right before I was signing the papers I had this dream in which the whole house turned over on it's side and slipped into the ravine next to which it sat.
Did I pay attention? Heck no. My reaction was ... "I can't tell a realtor I can't go through with this because I had a dream". And what if the dream didn't come from God? And what if it just came from my fear. I knew all the answers to those questions. I knew the dream came from God. I knew I just had to , once again as we followers of Jesus always do, summon the courage to look foolish in front of a non follower and let God do the rest.
I punted. And by October the whole deal was beginning to unravel. I spent the worst winter in recent Northwest history in a uninsulated quasi cabin surrounded by people who could have cared less whether I was living in the family room running the unventilated dryer because it was the only way to stay warm.
So...to those of you who know the challenge of obedience I say....this is why church culture and tradition is so popular. We need those clear cut lines and rules and order of business and liturgy to keep us safe from the vast formidable territory of following the Holy Spirit in a mix with non, marginal, and once upon a time, believers.
The mercy of God in this story is that after that deal fell through I cried out to God, "You choose. I'm lousy at it" and two days later I ended up with a year and a half residence at the water's edge in a beach cabin. Once restored and invigorated to be faithful once more, I again needed to find a residence. I wanted God to choose again. Much as I surrendered, the only thing that happened was a choice between three houses. There was no clear cut winner.
Silence on the part of God ensued. Did God really trust me to choose? Was it a test? Could I pass it? I observed all that the options offered and after a month chose door number three. Bingo. I was home. I had learned to know myself and my situation in some degree the way God sees me. I had learned what was best for me.
We do notice the most authentic moments of being God's ambassador for Christ are when we have the courage to admit our failings. Remember to be a person today as you are going about being a pastor to whatever flock God has given you. You may look like a fool to your congregation occasionally, but God will be pleased. With that comes mercy and Grace, and 'blessings all mine with ten thousand besides'. Care to share?
Love Deborah
