It was a hard Lent for me this year. I struggled with obedience at all levels. The simplest impulse from the Spirit found me chafing at the instructions.
Just so you can feel a bit dismissive, because it is the rare pulpit that does not discount my particular form of fasting, let me confess I give up chocolate for Lent each year. It is the one substance that truly keeps me from seeking God in deeper ways. Once a day, more faithfully than I am in the Word sometimes, I open the paper to break off two ounces of Trader Joe's 72% dark chocolate bar. I delight in the antioxidants. I relish the part that melts on my fingers. I thank God for sustenance in all manner, shape and form as I consume it. Since Lent is about opening up the door to God's presence more, that's what I have always done without. I have a God moment when I eat my chocolate. The point of my Lenten fast is to have the God moment without the physical trigger. Yea, right.
Each year there is an astounding spiritual insight, epiphany if you will, as a result. So each year I give it up again. The first time I gave it up I had an enormous insight into the nature and depth of the act of Hosanna. I understood for the first time what it meant to praise God no matter what. I remember the literal spot in the road where it crashed in on me. Ah... it was so worth going without. Each year I look forward to what the Lord will teach me in the abyss of emptiness going without my daily pleasure and comfort brings me.
It is an arduous fast. Within days, I am consuming every other form of sugar at ever unsatisfying levels of consumption. It drives me to an unprecedented awareness of my flesh and God's infinite Glory. What a weakling I am.
This year on Ash Wednesday I went to the combined services at the Methodist church here on our little Island. The pastor said something that altered my practice of Lent. A simple statement, he noted the importance of feast days.
So I tried keeping a feast day this Lent. Guess what. First week out...Radical life changing, theologically jarring, ohmygosh how could I have gotten this so cattywhumpus for so long, epiphany.
Suddenly Lent was not a forty day plus the Sundays endurance test. It was a week, and then a day of rejoicing. Guess what? Not once did I binge on chocolate. I chose one piece very carefully and savoured it like the host.
Like all the other lessons I've learned in Lent's past, I continue this wisdom as well. Sunday has become a feast day. Quite the 45 degree turn from the day of service and contemplation ( and a well deserved nap in my opinion) of all the years before. Sunday is now the day I celebrate God's presence in my life. I feast. I surrender care and worry. I rejoice. I indulge spiritually, socially, physically, in all ways. God is God and I am not. Praise Be!! Blessed Be the Name!!!
Now think about what your day is like on Sunday, the Sabbath. You begin it the night before by not staying up too late even if you haven't finished your sermon. Then you rise early and tweak a few things, square away your family concerns and head for the church. Did you remember to put your piety on? You know, the smile, the handshake, the nod of the head, the voice and resulting inflections? What if it was this? You rise early and make the family French Toast or Pancakes having prepared early in the week and let the Lord ferment your discernments like yeast in good dough. With all smiles all, you arrive at the church as if you were headed to the biggest party in town. Rejoicing in the faces you see, you let all the joy you feel in belonging to the Lord overflow. It is your most real day! It is your most transparent day ! It is your most human day! I mean really, what would happen. Could it happen? Might it happen? Feast again on all that the Lord has given you in calling you to full time service.
Love
Deborah
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